The Don Draper Guide to Investment Banking

A few years ago some banker friends and I were thinking about creating a TV show.

Entourage meets The Office: all the glamor of movie stars and the celebrity lifestyle, but in cubicles rather than Hollywood.

But the outside world has never hated Wall Street more, and post-financial crisis there’s no way a drama like this could ever take off.

Plus, there’s another small problem: it would be impossible to make a show more awesome than Mad Men.

Don’t believe me?

Here are all the lessons you could learn from Don Draper himself:

Stuff Investment Bankers Like, Round 2: Email Forwards That Destroy Careers, Blue Shirts, Headphones, The Track, Markup, The West Wing, and Closing Dinners

Ok, let’s get started with round 2. See round 1 (cocaine, Buenos Aires, and more fun) right here if you missed it before.

8. Email Forwards That Destroy Careers

You’ve already seen this story, so I won’t bother repeating the details here. But while everyone else focused on the foolishness of one intern trying to lie his way into an offer, they missed something else:

You have to be very careful what you write in emails once you start working in finance.

Say something stupid, and it will get forwarded around to tens of thousands of people within 3 hours.

Sure, none of the people involved in forwarding this particular email got in trouble since it was just about a potential hire – but you better think twice about emailing your “friend” to trash-talk your MD.

Bankers love the “Reply All” and “Forward” buttons.

How to Win Friends and Influence People in Investment Banking by Slacking Off and Pretending to Work Hard

Ask senior bankers what quality is most important in Analysts and Associates, and 99% of them will say “A good attitude.”

If you’re going to work 100 hours per week, you need to be positive about what you do every day… right?

Wrong.

All you have to do is give the appearance of a good attitude – and here’s how you do that: