Continuing with the tradition started last year, today we’re going to predict 2009 investment banking bonuses.

Things have changed a lot since we last did this exercise – just one of the fun side effects of financial apocalypse and numerous major banks failing.

Lots of Analysts were complaining about how “low” bonuses were last year (yes, $120K as a 22-year old puts you at the poverty line, doesn’t it?), but with a worsened economy over the past year the key question becomes:

Just how low will 2009 bonuses go?

Read on to find out…

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In this week’s edition of Q&A (we’ve had Rapid-Fire, Lightning, 100-Meter Dash and now Light Speed… suggestions for new names are welcome), I once again compress as much information as possible into as few words as possible.

Surprisingly, this week we cover some questions that aren’t related to economic collapse / the end of investment banking as we know it / other end-is-nigh scenarios.

And we start with a question relevant to everyone from kindergartners to seasoned pros: the sick day. Oh, and marriage, which I suppose is less relevant to kindergartners.

Sick Days, Marriage & Yerba Mate

1. I recently had a cold and took a day off from work. Can you take sick days as an investment banker? Or do you have to come to the office even if you’re dying?

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“What should we put our money in?”

“Is this the end of Wall Street?”

“Which bank is going to fail next?”

“Should I just move to Thailand or become a ski bum?”

The talk of rumor-mongers who obsess over every last development?

Paranoid message board chatter?

Too much refreshing of the Drudge Report each day?

No.

These are all snippets of conversation from 4 friends in finance, discussing the world at large this past weekend while “on vacation” (I tried to make them turn off CNBC, but it didn’t work).

So if you’re asking the same questions, don’t feel ignorant – not even the insiders have the answers.

But I have been receiving many smaller questions lately – questions I might be able to answer.

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What is Investment Banking?: Ari Gold: What Bankers Actually Do, Why NOT Do Investment Banking, Why You Work 100 Hours Per Week, The Jack Bauer Guide to Investment Banking Success

Investment Banking Lifestyle: A Day in the Life - Worst Day and Best Day, How to Stay Fit, Investment Banking Lingo Part 1 and Part 2, A Week in the Life (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday)

Investment Banking Fashion: Investment Banking Wardrobe for Men, Men's Fashion Basics, How to Pick a Suit, Investment Banking Wardrobe for Women

Breaking into Finance: How to Get an Investment Banking Job, Networking into Investment Banking, Recruiting in a Tough Market, Breaking in from Engineering, Breaking in from Law, Breaking in from the Back Office

Networking: Networking into Investment Banking, Investment Banking Information Sessions, Become a Networking Ninja, How to Network Like Jason Bourne - Podcast, Cold Calling - Podcast, How to Get In From a State School With No Background - Case Study, How to Get In From a Non-Target School With a Low GPA - Case Study

Recruiting in a Down Market: The State of the Market, Check-The-Box-Recruiting to Actual Recruiting, Become a Networking Ninja, Plan B Options, How to Avoid Shooting Yourself in the Foot

Investment Banking Resumes: How to Write an Investment Banking Resume, How Investment Bankers Read Resumes, University Student Investment Banking Resume Template, Investment Banking Cover Letters

Investment Banking Interviews: Investment Banking Interview Guide, The Interview Selection Process, How to Close Your Interviews, Superday Zen: Why Less Is More, Random Interview Selection, Telling Your Story - Part 1, Telling Your Story - Part 2

Summer Internships: Summer Intern Success Guide, How to Dominate Your Summer Internship, Tips from a Former Summer Analyst, What You Do as a Summer Analyst, 10 Summer Internship "Don't's", How Summer Interns Get Full-Time Offers

Investment Banking Salaries: Investment Banking Salaries vs. McDonald's, Why Investment Bankers Make So Much Money, 2008 Analyst Bonuses, 2009 Analyst Bonus Prediction

Private Equity / Buyside Jobs: Private Equity Resumes, Private Equity Interviews, The Myth of the Buyside Job, Headhunters: Friend or Foe?, How to Get a Private Equity Job, How to Tame Recruiters

Specific Groups: UBS LA, Boutiques - 2008, Restructuring, The Back Office, Mergers & Acquisitions, Sales & Trading - Fixed Income, Boutiques - 2009, Why Bankers Dominate Consultants

Investment Banking Regions: Investment Banking Italy, Credit Derivatives in Tokyo, Investment Banking Australia

Business School: Business School Admissions as a Financier, Business School Admissions as a Non-Financier

Quitting Finance & Slacking Off: The Conference Room: How You Get Fired, The Farewell Email, A Day in the Life of a Former Investment Banker, How to Succeed In Investment Banking Without Doing Any Work, How to Have Fun On the Beach

Post & Pre-Layoff Options: Post-Layoff Options, Timing the Market Is BAD, How to Become a Ski Bum