The Holiday Party: Time to Hook Up With Your Assistant?

Your MD is standing on top of a table downing shots of whiskey.

Meanwhile, your assistant is pole-dancing in front of everyone as the associate you’ve been thinking about murdering the entire year offers you tequila.

The bottles are free and the models are looking even better than usual – most likely due to those free bottles.

No, it’s not a lucid dream: it’s the holiday party at your investment bank.

Or at least, it was – before holiday parties were banned.

The Grand Tradition of Holiday Parties

The Myth of the Career Path

I’ve gotten a lot of questions about how you can start your own hedge fund, make $1 billion per year in cash, and then retire at age 30 with enough capital to buy several countries.

So today I’m going to give you the exact set of steps you need to do all this: all you have to do is copy and paste and fill in a few blanks and you’ll be well on your way toward being the next hedge fund billionaire.

How Investment Banking Analysts Get Ranked for Bonuses: Roll the Dice, Please

One question that comes up whenever banks announce bonuses is how you get ranked in the first place.

Sure, we all want to be “Top Tier,” but how do you actually get there?

There must be a complex “ranking” process at banks to ensure high standards for everyone…. right?

Nope. It’s actually more like spinning the roulette wheel – or rolling the dice.