“I have read Monkey Business, Liar’s Poker, and When Genius Failed each 3 times and consider them my collective bible. I know I have the eye for perfection and artistic vision to create truly immaculate pitch books. I am a Microsoft Certified in Excel, and I know all the shortcut keys (alt-i then r, that will insert a new row).”

-RE: Lehman Brothers Recruiting, The Leveraged Sellout

Despite my claims that “we never read cover letters,” some readers have pointed out that almost all banks require them. And some places might even pay attention to them.

I’ve seen lots of cover letters from customers lately – and nearly all of them suffer from the same problems.

Here’s how to avoid these common mistakes and how to structure your cover letters properly, so you can avoid looking like The Joker.

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Yes, you read that headline correctly: this post is NOT about Bear Stearns.

I’m not sure there’s much more to say on the topic at this point in time, but as the situation evolves you may well expect another installment in the saga (I think Episode 3: The Return of The Offer would be appropriate, assuming everything goes well for the Bear Stearns summer interns and full-time hires out there).

I’m going to wrap up the week with another installment of reader Q&A covering some of the non-Bear-Stearns related questions I’ve received recently.

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Happy 2008 everyone! If you’re looking for an investment banking summer internship, your New Year’s Resolution may be to find one this month. And if you’ve already accepted a full-time offer, you may be looking for tips on starting your job successfully and adjusting to the working life. Over the next month you’ll find answers to both those topics on this site.

After launching in late November just after Thanksgiving and explaining what exactly investment bankers do, Mergers & Inquisitions featured a variety of posts in the month of December.

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What is Investment Banking?: Ari Gold: What Bankers Actually Do, Why NOT Do Investment Banking, Why You Work 100 Hours Per Week, The Jack Bauer Guide to Investment Banking Success

Investment Banking Lifestyle: A Day in the Life - Worst Day and Best Day, How to Stay Fit, Investment Banking Lingo Part 1 and Part 2, A Week in the Life (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday)

Investment Banking Fashion: Investment Banking Wardrobe for Men, Men's Fashion Basics, How to Pick a Suit, Investment Banking Wardrobe for Women

Breaking into Finance: How to Get an Investment Banking Job, Networking into Investment Banking, Recruiting in a Tough Market, Breaking in from Engineering, Breaking in from Law, Breaking in from the Back Office

Networking: Networking into Investment Banking, Investment Banking Information Sessions, Become a Networking Ninja, How to Network Like Jason Bourne - Podcast, Cold Calling - Podcast, How to Get In From a State School With No Background - Case Study, How to Get In From a Non-Target School With a Low GPA - Case Study

Recruiting in a Down Market: The State of the Market, Check-The-Box-Recruiting to Actual Recruiting, Become a Networking Ninja, Plan B Options, How to Avoid Shooting Yourself in the Foot

Investment Banking Resumes: How to Write an Investment Banking Resume, How Investment Bankers Read Resumes, University Student Investment Banking Resume Template, Investment Banking Cover Letters

Investment Banking Interviews: Investment Banking Interview Guide, The Interview Selection Process, How to Close Your Interviews, Superday Zen: Why Less Is More, Random Interview Selection, Telling Your Story - Part 1, Telling Your Story - Part 2

Summer Internships: Summer Intern Success Guide, How to Dominate Your Summer Internship, Tips from a Former Summer Analyst, What You Do as a Summer Analyst, 10 Summer Internship "Don't's", How Summer Interns Get Full-Time Offers

Investment Banking Salaries: Investment Banking Salaries vs. McDonald's, Why Investment Bankers Make So Much Money, 2008 Analyst Bonuses, 2009 Analyst Bonus Prediction

Private Equity / Buyside Jobs: Private Equity Resumes, Private Equity Interviews, The Myth of the Buyside Job, Headhunters: Friend or Foe?, How to Get a Private Equity Job, How to Tame Recruiters

Specific Groups: UBS LA, Boutiques - 2008, Restructuring, The Back Office, Mergers & Acquisitions, Sales & Trading - Fixed Income, Boutiques - 2009, Why Bankers Dominate Consultants

Investment Banking Regions: Investment Banking Italy, Credit Derivatives in Tokyo, Investment Banking Australia

Business School: Business School Admissions as a Financier, Business School Admissions as a Non-Financier

Quitting Finance & Slacking Off: The Conference Room: How You Get Fired, The Farewell Email, A Day in the Life of a Former Investment Banker, How to Succeed In Investment Banking Without Doing Any Work, How to Have Fun On the Beach

Post & Pre-Layoff Options: Post-Layoff Options, Timing the Market Is BAD, How to Become a Ski Bum