From Analyst Monkey to King of the Jungle MD: The Investment Banking Hierarchy

“This is not a fraternity house,” my staffer explained as he hauled me into a small conference room.

“Some of the MDs have complained about how messy your desk is, so clean it up.”

Genuinely curious, I replied, “Were you referring to the empty Red Bull cans or to all the papers too?”

Not a good start to your 3rd week on the job.

I told this story to a few co-workers afterward and they all laughed and responded the same way:

“He’s lying, a bank is exactly like a frat house.”

They were right – just like a fraternity, there’s hazing, a hierarchy, and certain rituals you must go through to advance.

While this site has been analyst-focused in the past, today you’re going to learn all about this hierarchy, how much you get paid at each level, how the work differs, the average age range, and the possible exit opportunities.

And if you’re curious about hours please stop reading this site right now.

How to Answer the “Greatest Weakness” Question in Interviews Without Getting Dinged

“Katie Couric: What one personal flaw do you think might hinder your ability to be president?

Barack Obama: I don’t think there’s… a flaw that would hinder my ability to function as president. I think that all of us have things we need to improve. You know, I said during the primary that my management of paper can sometimes be a problem.”

-Pre-Election Interview Between Barack Obama and Katie Couric

Ah, the “greatest weakness” interview question.

If even Barack Obama – one of the world’s greatest masters of spin – can’t even come up with a good answer to this one, what hope do you have?

It’s one of the most difficult and controversial questions in interviews, but if you follow the guidelines here you’ll at least be able to give a better response than Obama – and you’ll land an offer or 2 in the process.

The Review Process: Scratch My Back, I’ll Scratch Yours

“She is an excellent Associate who always takes time out of her busy schedule, not only to show me the in’s and out’s of accounting and finance, but also to impart valuable leadership skills. Her attention to detail is impeccable, and she adds so much value and attends to clients’ needs so well that it seems they never have any needs. I give her my highest recommendation and cannot imagine a banker with whom I would rather work.”

-Your Future Review of an Associate You’ve Thought About Killing

Ah, the review process.

Nothing inspires quite as much lying, bribery, and deal making behind-closed-doors – especially when you’re at an investment bank.

So here’s how you can survive the politics and make it through the process alive – without getting voted off the island.