“Vacation time? People come and work at this firm for one reason: to become filthy rich. That’s it. We’re not here to make friends. We’re not savin’ the bleepin’ manatees here, guys. You want vacation time? Go teach third grade, public school.”

-Jim Young, “Boiler Room” (2000)

Christmas Eve, and what an appropriate topic. If you’re in your cubicle reading this, my condolences: I was actually in that same position last year as well. But most bankers, believe it or not, are actually on vacation right about now.

Vacation? Yes. It does exist, even in this job. What else are you going to spend those investment banking bonuses on? Beyond just the typical “What are investment banking hours like?” questions, this is another common one I hear. Can you actually take a vacation as an Analyst? Do you ever get any time off? Can you go home for the holidays?

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“I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I’ll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now.”

-Patrick Bateman, “American Psycho” (2000)

Back in the day, it was easy for investment bankers to stay fit. If you’re anything like Patrick Bateman here, can you too use a combination of diet, rigorous exercise, stomach crunches and facial cream to stay fit and look young?

Probably not, at least if you are really understanding investment banking. It’s a massive change from your student lifestyle (and Bateman is a fictional character). Those convenient breaks in between classes when you went running or went to the gym no longer exist. Now you have coffee breaks where you go to Starbucks and get 200 calorie lattes. And you have those $30/night dinners where you almost feel compelled to order the 20 worst foods in America. Yes, this is what investment bankers do: get fat.

On top of all that, you’re stationary for most of the day. If you could walk even an hour a day, you would burn around 300 calories. But will you have an hour a day? Here’s how you can stay in shape when you have minimal time and sleep and are surrounded by unhealthy habits and food.

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“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.”

-William Shakespeare, Henry VI Part 2, Act IV

Decided to kill your career in law and switch into banking? Want to be paid by the results instead of by the hour (and hopefully make one of those astronomical investment banking bonuses)?

The good news is that it’s fairly common for lawyers to switch into finance and investment banking specifically. There are a few paths you can take from law into finance:

1. Get an investment banking job immediately out of law school.
2. Work as an Associate at a law firm for several years and then lateral to an Associate position at a bank.
3. Go to business school after practicing for a few years and interview for banking jobs as you finish your MBA.

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What is Investment Banking?: Ari Gold: What Bankers Actually Do, Why NOT Do Investment Banking

Investment Banking Lifestyle: A Day in the Life - Worst Day and Best Day, How to Stay Fit, Investment Banking Wardrobe for Men, Investment Banking Lingo Part 1 and Part 2, A Week in the Life (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday)

Breaking into Finance: How to Get an Investment Banking Job, Networking into Investment Banking, Recruiting in a Tough Market, Breaking in from Engineering, Breaking in from Law, Breaking in from the Back Office

Investment Banking Resumes: How to Write an Investment Banking Resume, How Investment Bankers Read Resumes

Investment Banking Interviews: Investment Banking Interview Guide, The Interview Selection Process, How to Close Your Interviews

Summer Internships: Summer Intern Success Guide, How to Dominate Your Summer Internship, Tips from a Former Summer Analyst, What You Do as a Summer Analyst, 10 Summer Internship "Don't's", How Summer Interns Get Full-Time Offers

Investment Banking Salaries: Investment Banking Salaries vs. McDonald's, Why Investment Bankers Make So Much Money, 2008 Analyst Bonuses

Private Equity / Buyside Jobs: Private Equity Resumes, Private Equity Interviews, The Myth of the Buyside Job, Headhunters: Friend or Foe?

Specific Groups: UBS LA, Boutiques, Restructuring, The Back Office

Quitting Finance: The Conference Room: How You Get Fired, The Farewell Email, A Day in the Life of a Former Investment Banker