Why Not Even a Boutique Investment Bank Will Hire You – And What to Do About It

“It’s soooo easy to work at a boutique bank, all you do is cold call them and submit your resume and you’re set.”

“If I have a 2.0 GPA and no work experience, boutiques will still hire me, right?”

“I’m applying to bulge brackets, middle market banks, and boutiques. Can you rank my chances at all of them? Also, can you rank the banks, schools, Excel macros, and the models in AJ’s video?”

No, no, and no.

I’ve got some bad news for you: you’re not good enough to get hired, even at a boutique bank.

I know this because I recently went through a hiring experiment of my own: searching for associate editors and finance wizards.

While this site may not be a boutique bank exactly, the similarities are striking: scarce resources, revenue in a similar range, a relentless focus on ROI, and 150+ applicants for only 1-2 open positions.

I learned enough through doing this to tell you exactly what you need to get hired by a bank – and what you need to get hired by me in the future, if we’re on the lookout for more help.

Degrees and Certifications: Got CFA + JD + MBA + MD?

After a long absence, my favorite topic is back: no, not GPA rounding, ranking the banks, or re-assuring you that your “career path” is correct, but degrees and certifications.

Despite my best efforts to bash certifications and give snarky responses to related questions, there’s still confusion on what banks care about, what you can do with different degrees, and the meaning of life.

While I can’t help with the meaning of life (42?), I can tell you which degrees and certifications mean something and help you break into finance – and which will not.

Which Language Should You Learn to Break Into Investment Banking?

Right after the merits of the CFA, GPA rounding, and the ranking of schools and banks, the question that spawns the most debate is which language you should learn to break into investment banking.

And there are many candidates, each supported by a combination of logic and zeal:

• Spanish: Latin America!
• Portuguese: Brazil!!!
• Mandarin: China!!!!
• Arabic: The Middle East!!!!

So which one should you learn to maximize your chances?

Or is the real answer not even on this list?