Investment Banking Lingo: How To Walk, Talk And Act Like Gordon Gekko
“I have read Monkey Business, Liar’s Poker, and When Genius Failed each 3 times and consider them my collective bible. I know I have the eye for perfection and artistic vision to create truly immaculate pitch books. I am Microsoft Certified in Excel, and I know all the shortcut keys (alt-i then r, that will insert a new row). Furthermore, I consider myself a whiz with numbers. I know I would be able to build robust models and complete precise calculations for Lehman Brothers.
Most importantly, however, I want to stress how willing I am to do “anything for the team.” I realize the possibility of long hours exists in such a position, and I am ready to work as hard as necessary. I have been practicing staring at a computer monitor for extended hours; I can currently sit motionless in front of a screen for 28 hours, and I am improving daily.”
-RE: Lehman Brothers Recruiting, The Leveraged Sellout
So, how do you succeed as a young investment banker? How do you perform best in your upcoming summer internship? What if you’re a full-time hire and you don’t want to be laid off 3 weeks into the job?
Dressing for success and buying some nice clothes might help (don’t go crazy, though). And yeah, make sure you network and make a good impression on everyone. Maybe try to learn some modeling before you start.
But one aspect that advice-giving bankers often overlook is the lingo.
Not the basics, like IPO, M&A and LBO - you can read about those in some book called the Vault Guide.
Let’s just skip to the interesting lingo. The lingo that determines your life or death as a young banker.
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