“Always carry shoe polish, in case said analyst’s shoes need a shine. Forget your blackberry holster – what you need is a coffee cup holder for more than four cups – this way, you’ll need only make a single trip to Starbucks each morning when you bring your team coffee.”

-..and Some More Investment Banking Summer Internship Donts, The All-Nighter

Despite explaining what you’ll actually do as a summer intern and even how to dominate your investment banking summer internship, summer internship questions have continued to roll in.

Sure, you want to do as much deal-related work and modeling as possible, but how do you get there? How do you avoid just going to Starbucks and the dry cleaner for me all summer? (Not that I would make a summer intern do that, of course)

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“Hahah, oh snap! That is hot. Get this though, the other day, this MD accidentally spills coffee on this analyst’s shirt. MD doesn’t really say anything, just goes on working. The analyst is moping around all day whining about his shirt. So finally, the MD drops $100 bill on the analyst’s desk and goes ‘Quit whining and just go buy yourself a new shirt if it’s that big a deal.’ So the analyst is all happy because he got the POS at Marshalls for like $15. But then, the MD says ‘But I own that shirt now, give it to me’ and makes the analyst give him the shirt go the rest of the day with no shirt!”

-MD’s, The Leveraged Sellout

Continuing our series in Investment Banking Lingo this week, we resume today with more essential vocabulary that any good banker must know to get ahead in today’s tough market.

Even Frank Quattrone had to learn the meaning of “Alt Tab” at one point or another (ok, maybe he was born knowing that one…).

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“I have read Monkey Business, Liar’s Poker, and When Genius Failed each 3 times and consider them my collective bible. I know I have the eye for perfection and artistic vision to create truly immaculate pitch books. I am Microsoft Certified in Excel, and I know all the shortcut keys (alt-i then r, that will insert a new row). Furthermore, I consider myself a whiz with numbers. I know I would be able to build robust models and complete precise calculations for Lehman Brothers.

Most importantly, however, I want to stress how willing I am to do “anything for the team.” I realize the possibility of long hours exists in such a position, and I am ready to work as hard as necessary. I have been practicing staring at a computer monitor for extended hours; I can currently sit motionless in front of a screen for 28 hours, and I am improving daily.”

-RE: Lehman Brothers Recruiting, The Leveraged Sellout

So, how do you succeed as a young investment banker? How do you perform best in your upcoming summer internship? What if you’re a full-time hire and you don’t want to be laid off 3 weeks into the job?

Dressing for success and buying some nice clothes might help (don’t go crazy, though). And yeah, make sure you network and make a good impression on everyone. Maybe try to learn some modeling before you start.

But one aspect that advice-giving bankers often overlook is the lingo.

Not the basics, like IPO, M&A and LBO - you can read about those in some book called the Vault Guide.

Let’s just skip to the interesting lingo. The lingo that determines your life or death as a young banker.

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What is Investment Banking?: Ari Gold: What Bankers Actually Do, Why NOT Do Investment Banking

Investment Banking Lifestyle: A Day in the Life - Worst Day and Best Day, How to Stay Fit, Investment Banking Wardrobe for Men, Investment Banking Lingo Part 1 and Part 2, A Week in the Life (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday)

Breaking into Finance: How to Get an Investment Banking Job, Networking into Investment Banking, Recruiting in a Tough Market, Breaking in from Engineering, Breaking in from Law, Breaking in from the Back Office

Investment Banking Resumes: How to Write an Investment Banking Resume, How Investment Bankers Read Resumes

Investment Banking Interviews: Investment Banking Interview Guide, The Interview Selection Process, How to Close Your Interviews

Summer Internships: Summer Intern Success Guide, How to Dominate Your Summer Internship, Tips from a Former Summer Analyst, What You Do as a Summer Analyst, 10 Summer Internship "Don't's", How Summer Interns Get Full-Time Offers

Investment Banking Salaries: Investment Banking Salaries vs. McDonald's, Why Investment Bankers Make So Much Money, 2008 Analyst Bonuses

Private Equity / Buyside Jobs: Private Equity Resumes, Private Equity Interviews, The Myth of the Buyside Job, Headhunters: Friend or Foe?

Specific Groups: UBS LA, Boutiques, Restructuring, The Back Office

Quitting Finance: The Conference Room: How You Get Fired, The Farewell Email, A Day in the Life of a Former Investment Banker