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7 Questions You Won’t See Answered on M&I in 2009

2008 was an interesting year for the finance industry. Back when Bear Stearns failed, we thought it was the end of the world.

But the economy kept getting worse and worse, and then September rolled around and we were in a full state of financial apocalypse.

Despite how much things have changed, there are a few questions that keep coming up over and over again. 

I’ve tried to answer some frequently asked questions, but after a year of doing this, I’ve decided that some questions are just not worth answering.

So here are 7 questions that you will not see answered on Mergers & Inquisitions in 2009 – and some good questions that will be addressed.

1. “Can You Rank the Most Prestigious Banks/Groups/Offices?”

Asking me to rank banks is a great way to get me to ignore you. I can’t think of anything that’s a bigger waste of time than trying to “rank” financial institutions or specific groups/offices.

Why?

  1. These days you’re lucky to get an offer anywhere. If you’re still in the mindset of “Bulge bracket or bust” you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
  2. Individual banks change quickly because turnover is high. Witness what happened when Moelis left and UBS LA then collapsed and fired (almost) everyone, all within the course of 1-1.5 years.
  3. No one cares where you work/worked. To “normal people,” investment banking is investment banking and it’s all the same no matter where you are – and they’re pretty much right about that one.

2. “Do You Agree With the US News Business School Rankings?”

“Ranking” business schools / undergraduate schools is a similar waste of time. All that matter is whether or not banks recruit at a school.

So if you go to Yale, please don’t transfer to Harvard because you think it will improve your recruiting chances.

The same applies to business schools: why anyone would argue over which of the top 10 or so schools is “best” is beyond me.

3. “So, Will the Economy Improve in 2009/2010/2011/2131?” 

I still don’t have a crystal ball, sorry. This might be another Great Depression – or it might improve more quickly than expected

Many finance blogs are in the business of future prediction, but that’s not what we do here. The goal is education + entertainment – not palm reading.

Do something because you want to do it – not because you “predict” the market will be worse / better / the same 2 years from now.

4. “If I Want to Be an Investment Banker for Life, What Should I Do?”

The question is legitimate, but I don’t know anyone who can actually answer it because most just use it as a steppingstone.

For anyone who hasn’t worked in the industry before, this question is a little presumptuous because you have no idea whether or not you’ll really like it.

Rather than planning things out 5-10 years in the future, take them one step at a time and see what happens.

I’ve gotten questions over my “5-year plan” or “10-year plan” and I always give the same answer:

I don’t have one.

It’s too hard to plan that far in advance, so I think in terms of 3-month, 6-month and 1-year periods instead.

5. “So, Can I Round My GPA to a 3.7…”

After the “rank banks” question, this might be the second best way to get me to ignore you.

You’re never going to get accepted or rejected because your GPA is 0.1 higher or lower than what it really is.

Like the other questions on this list, all that matters is what range it was in.

So stop debating whether to write 3.53 or 3.6 and spend the time networking and improving your interview skills instead.

6. “I’m a Senior in High School and I Want to Be an Investment Banker…”

No, you don’t.

Getting started early can be good, but too early works against you. At least wait until you’re a little older and have had some more experience first.

More broadly, the same advice applies to anyone who just decides to do this on a whim: you need to do your homework first.

This is also important when you’re networking – if it doesn’t seem like you’ve done your own research, you won’t be put on the interview list anywhere.

7. “Wait, So How Many Hours Do I Really Work Each Week?”

Haven’t we covered this one before? You know, bad days, good days, and even entire weeks?

But ignoring that for a moment, if you’re concerned about the hours you should not be thinking about anything in finance. Even outside banking, you still work way more than in any other industry.

Yes, it might not be as bad at a boutique, but you’re missing the big picture: expect to work a lot.

Questions That Will Be Answered

Ok, so what questions will we address in 2009?

  • What to do if you don’t get in and have to fall back on your “Plan B.”
  • What it’s like working in different parts of the world, including interviews with current/former bankers.
  • How you can apply lessons from popular TV shows/movies to your internship/job search (timed to coincide with the premier of a certain popular TV show in January…).
  • Case studies on how “normal people” got into the industry.
  • What happens when things don’t work out – poor hiring decisions, people going down in flames, office drama and more.

Those are just a few of the ideas on the list – if you have experience with any of the above and want to be interviewed (obviously everything would be anonymous) / contribute, we would love to hear from you.

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12 Comments »

Comment by Alt

Looking forward to the new posts. Thanks for sharing all of your knowledge, and have a happy new year!

 
Comment by Denis

Happy New Year!
Interesting agenda for the upcoming year.
Cheers!

 
Comment by Lisa

Would you have any comment on the relative attractiveness of starting out in London versus New York, particularly in the wake of the past few months?

Comment by Inquisitor

The conventional wisdom is that NYC is “the best” to start out in, but these days I recommend going as broad as possible and considering all options… London has also been hard-hit by the crisis, but if you have an opportunity there I would definitely take it.

 
 
Comment by Mike

Great advice, as always.

Here’s a question I hope you can answer.

In the personal section of the resume, is it okay to write “Personally financed education by working 20 hours per week throughout school”? Or would that be a big turnoff?

Thanks.

Comment by Inquisitor

I think that’s fine – you could even list it under Education.

 
 
Comment by HK Fan

“The goal is education + entertainment – not palm reading.”

double negative, so you do palm reading!

sorry the market is slow and i am bored

Comment by Inquisitor

Yeah, it’s coming sometime in Q1 2009… yet another new product/service here.

 
 
Comment by Mike

Just read your post on wardrobes, and figured I’d comment here since I don’t know if you still monitor older posts for comments.

You mention no cufflinks for analysts/summer interns. How ’bout pocket squares?

Thanks.

Comment by Inquisitor

I would only wear them for more formal events / holiday parties etc… a bit too formal for day-to-day

 
 
Comment by Jimmy

What television show are you talking about ?
Sorry if this is an obvious question, I don’t watch that much TV.

Thanks again for this blog, Happy New Year !

Comment by Inquisitor

Oh, you’ll see…

 
 
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What is Investment Banking?: Ari Gold: What Bankers Actually Do, Why NOT Do Investment Banking, Why You Work 100 Hours Per Week, The Jack Bauer Guide to Investment Banking Success

Investment Banking Lifestyle: A Day in the Life - Worst Day and Best Day, How to Stay Fit, Investment Banking Lingo Part 1 and Part 2, A Week in the Life (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday)

Investment Banking Fashion: Investment Banking Wardrobe for Men, Men's Fashion Basics, How to Pick a Suit, Investment Banking Wardrobe for Women

Breaking into Finance: How to Get an Investment Banking Job, Networking into Investment Banking, Recruiting in a Tough Market, Breaking in from Engineering, Breaking in from Law, Breaking in from the Back Office

Networking: Networking into Investment Banking, Investment Banking Information Sessions, Become a Networking Ninja, How to Network Like Jason Bourne - Podcast, Cold Calling - Podcast, How to Get In From a State School With No Background - Case Study, How to Get In From a Non-Target School With a Low GPA - Case Study

Recruiting in a Down Market: The State of the Market, Check-The-Box-Recruiting to Actual Recruiting, Become a Networking Ninja, Plan B Options, How to Avoid Shooting Yourself in the Foot

Investment Banking Resumes: How to Write an Investment Banking Resume, How Investment Bankers Read Resumes, University Student Investment Banking Resume Template, Investment Banking Cover Letters

Investment Banking Interviews: Investment Banking Interview Guide, The Interview Selection Process, How to Close Your Interviews, Superday Zen: Why Less Is More, Random Interview Selection, Telling Your Story - Part 1, Telling Your Story - Part 2

Summer Internships: Summer Intern Success Guide, How to Dominate Your Summer Internship, Tips from a Former Summer Analyst, What You Do as a Summer Analyst, 10 Summer Internship "Don't's", How Summer Interns Get Full-Time Offers

Investment Banking Salaries: Investment Banking Salaries vs. McDonald's, Why Investment Bankers Make So Much Money, 2008 Analyst Bonuses, 2009 Analyst Bonus Prediction

Private Equity / Buyside Jobs: Private Equity Resumes, Private Equity Interviews, The Myth of the Buyside Job, Headhunters: Friend or Foe?, How to Get a Private Equity Job, How to Tame Recruiters

Specific Groups: UBS LA, Boutiques - 2008, Restructuring, The Back Office, Mergers & Acquisitions, Sales & Trading - Fixed Income, Boutiques - 2009, Why Bankers Dominate Consultants

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Business School: Business School Admissions as a Financier, Business School Admissions as a Non-Financier

Quitting Finance & Slacking Off: The Conference Room: How You Get Fired, The Farewell Email, A Day in the Life of a Former Investment Banker, How to Succeed In Investment Banking Without Doing Any Work, How to Have Fun On the Beach

Post & Pre-Layoff Options: Post-Layoff Options, Timing the Market Is BAD, How to Become a Ski Bum